A New Start

Things in life have changed so much. I single for good now, no more boyfriends. I have to for my own mental health, and even though its going to get so much harder from here on, I'll just need to keep pushing threw and hope that in the end I'll find Mr. Right, instead of Mr. Right Now. I'm trying my hardest to keep everything under control, but it just seems like things are going two steps forward one step back. I'm trying to get over my past and move on with my life, but my heart wont let me and that's my problem! My head is telling me that I'm crazy for still being in love with this boy, for he is only a boy and not the one for me and just move on already, stay away, but my heart is telling me no, don't, you need to be with him, even if he has moved on.

School is being put on a hold right now. Its really disappointing to myself that i had to do that, for i feel that i should be able to handle everything going on...with no problems but i can't. I'm being told that I'm a strong girl and I'll make it threw, but I'm so far in the whole it seems that i can't even see a small sparkle of light yet...but I'm trying my hardest. I don't want to disappoint anyone, and i feel as if i am. I just want my life to be back on track, maybe find a new group of people to hang out with and be a college student...but its hard, and i can't do that where I'm at right now. So I'm hoping for the best and trying to make a change for the better, its just harder than i would have even imagined, because i don't want to disappoint anyone anymore.

On the upside my friend wanted to help my self esteem and did a full on make over for me, but cutting off 7inches of my hair and coloring it to make me look more "fierce" for all those single men out there, (oh gosh!) and i got my nose pierced a while back, so I'm kind of a bad girl now, (no not really). So i do have a few ups going for me!!

Beforehand

After, on Halloween